Proverbs is a book absolutely filled to the brim with wisdom and guidance that can be applied to your relationship journey. If you’ve been having some trouble “picking the right ones” or with getting relationships to work out, it could be a great place to start.
Speaking of great places to start, all relationships inevitably start (at least after some conversation) with a first date. And as a Christian single, you’d better be ready to watch for red flags on that first date that can save you a lot of time and heartache with a match that’s no good for you.
“A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.” – Proverbs 20:19
Here’s how we want to approach this today. We want to look at three first date red flags that should be cause for concern. And just to make sure we’re not going full negative-Nancy, we want to point this out. Matches that don’t do these things should probably be earning brownie points in your book, especially if they are proactively handling them in a better way.
Number one—how does the other person talk about other people? Are they talking negatively about friends, family members, or maybe people working at the location of your first date? Are they gossiping and sharing “dirt” that they think you’ll find interesting.
Proverbs 20:19 clearly states that avoiding people who gossip is a wise move. If someone seems over the top spilling the beans on other people, you can probably assume that they’ll do the same thing about you to other people.
Number two—are they avoiding spiritual conversations? As your faith should be a mutually shared belief with a romantic partner (2 Corinthians 6:14), it should be something exciting to talk about and share together! If they don’t want to talk about it or are giving short answers looking to change the topic, it’s a red flag.
Number three—are they conducting themselves in a way that demonstrates a lifestyle in line with your beliefs? Are they pressuring you for physical intimacy? Are they having too many drinks? Are they swearing like a sailor? Are they making crude jokes?
These are just a few examples of things we’d personally not be okay with. We don’t know exactly where you stand on all of these issues, but we’d venture to say that there’s probably a lot of agreement on them. And remember, most people are trying to be on their best behavior on a first date, so if something negative is happening then, it’s probably going to get worse.
This is just a short list of first date red flags for Christians, but they’re certainly ones to be on the lookout for.
📝 Here’s Some Reflection Questions:
- What are three deal breaker behaviors that would make me not want to date someone? Identifying these before going on a date is important so that emotions don’t have the chance to cloud your logic.
- Can you think of any dates in the past where you saw a red flag and noticed it or missed it until later?
- While not a question, here is a challenge. Starting on the first of next month, consider reading the chapter of Proverbs that corresponds with the calendar day. For example, on the 5th, read Proverbs 5. This is a great way to help identify more potential red flags to be on the lookout for.
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