Today, we want to slow things down and share some guidance that will help you immensely when you’re messaging, texting, or talking to someone in your dating life. Let’s get into it!
“Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them.” – Proverbs 29:20
This verse from Proverbs is one that we all probably know is spot on—but following its guidance, especially in the heat of the moment, is another story. The verse tells us that those who speak quickly have less hope for them than a fool. Now, to be clear, this does not mean people who talk fast when they’re nervous or anything like that. What it’s talking about are people who jump to conclusions or who open their mouth with a response to something before they know the whole story.
For example, if you hear a rumor that the person your dating did something wrong and you immediately send them a long text assuming they did the thing you were told, that can cause problems. Remember, there are always two sides to every story (or as the cliché says, there are three sides—their side, your side, and the truth). It doesn’t mean that it’s not the truth, but this Proverb is advising us to at least check the brakes, get the whole story first, and then decide how to proceed.
Again, this sounds amazing now and we’d all probably agree it’s the right thing to do, but in the heat of the moment it can be more challenging. There are a few strategies that can help. First, pray about it now. Ask God to give you the power through the Holy Spirit to see these situations and be able to slow down.
Second, come up with a plan now (while it’s not the heat of the moment), so when it happens you have checks and balances in place. For example, maybe before you send any text message at any point in time, you ask yourself really quick if this is something you should slow down on first. Or if you have trouble with speaking with haste when you’re in person or on the phone, start training yourself to take a few breaths before you respond to something that gets you emotionally charged. You could even come up with a phrase to say every time that gives you time to slow down like “Please give me a minute to process this. I want to make sure I say what I actually mean.”
Ideally, find what works for you. If you can get to a point where what you say, text, or message isn’t said with haste, but is calm and calculated, you’ll avoid a lot of unnecessary headaches in the future.
📝 Here’s Some Reflection Questions:
- Have there been situations in the past where you spoke with haste and it caused problems?
- What safeguards can you put in place to make sure you slow yourself down when emotionally charged moments happen?
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