Meeting someone to date at church feels like it should be a piece of cake. There are tons of people there (including tons of singles), everyone tends to be of like-mind when it comes to their faith, and Godly marriages align with the goal of the Church.

While this sounds like a perfect recipe for finding love, it’s not that easy. Why? Well, first, a lot of churches don’t do a lot to support singles (at least directly). Second, if your church isn’t very big, you may have limited options. Third, things at church feel like they could get real awkward if you try and date someone and they say no or it doesn’t work out.

Awesome, right? Don’t worry, we didn’t just come here to rain on your parade. Meeting someone to date at church is actually very doable, doesn’t have to be that hard, and can be done in a way where regardless of the outcomes, you don’t feel awkward walking into service every week.

Today, we’re going to explore the steps, mindset, and guidance needed to successfully meet someone to date at church.

Step 1 – Properly define what ‘at church’ means.

While this may sound like splitting hairs, we assure you it’s not (and we feel it’s important to this discussion). When people say they want to meet someone to date ‘at church’, they are almost always referring to the physical building where their church congregation meets. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this.

However, we would encourage you to consider reflecting on what the definition of the Church is. It is our humble opinion (that we believe is backed by scripture) that the Church is not a building, but a body of people. In other words, when you say you want to meet someone ‘at church’, it might be better to say you want to meet someone ‘from the church’.

Why does this matter? Well, it opens up some of the possibilities you have when it comes to meeting other Christian singles. You remove some of the boundaries and requirements that may limit you from meeting someone special.

For example, if you’ve never tried a Christian dating app, this becomes a possibility for you. While the singles you meet might not go to the actual same physical building where your local church meets (they still might), they are still part of the same Church as you (the body of Christ).

We’re still going to focus the rest of this article on meeting someone at the actual physical building your church meets at, but we just wanted to share this so you don’t get tunnel vision and block out an option that might be great for you.

And just in case you might feel led to explore the idea of using a Christian dating app, we’d highly recommend checking out a safe, Christ-centered, and wholesome option like Higher Bond.

Step 2 – Become comfortable with the potential outcomes.

The next step to meeting someone to date at church is becoming comfortable with the potential outcomes. Why? When you are okay with what may or may not happen, it builds confidence and frees you up to take steps to actually meet someone without worry.

Here’s the first and most important thought.

God is in control. If you pray, follow His guidance, and trust that He truly is in control (He is), then it doesn’t even matter what we say here to reassure you, you already have nothing to worry about.

Let’s look at the possible outcomes of pursuing someone you like at church. There are three main outcomes:

It works out.

Outcome one is that it works out and you fall madly in love and get married! We would venture to think that most of you are probably already okay with this outcome.

You ask someone out, and they say no.

This is probably the outcome that scares people the most. Will there be people you ask out who say no? Probably. Will it feel great when they say no? Definitely not. But does them saying no have literally anything to do with your worth, your value, or even you? Absolutely not.

First, your value comes from being a child of God. Nothing anyone else does can ever change that.

Second, a majority of the time someone says no in a dating context, it has nothing to do with you. They might not be looking, they might have just gotten out of a relationship, they might be having a bad day, etc. The list of reasons are endless. The reality is that most of the time people say no, it really is the cliché “it’s not you, it’s me.”

Third, if they say no, it’s not a rejection of you. They’re simply feeling led to something or someone different. If you play it off like no big deal, no one will make a big deal out of it. In reality, most everyone else won’t know that it even happened, but even if they did, it only seems like a big deal if you make it into one.

When you find out someone else isn’t interested, that’s just one step closer to finding the right one for you.

You ask someone out, they say yes, you date, and it doesn’t work out.

Especially if you attend a small church, this is a real concern. What happens if you date someone and then you break up?

Will things be a little awkward? Probably. But is this enough of a reason not to try? Absolutely not. If you don’t put yourself out there and take some chances, you’ll never meet anyone at church. The potential upside far outweighs some temporary awkwardness.

And just to be clear, the awkwardness will be temporary.

Step 3 – Let people know you’re looking.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul talks about how being single is a gift, if it’s something you’re able to do. Obviously, if you’re here, you’re looking for someone, and you’ve probably already explored this verse. So, why are we sharing it in a guide to meeting someone to date at church?

Well, here are two things that are both true at the same time. One, your church family tend to be the best and most motivated matchmakers on the planet. Two, many of your church family know that not everyone is actively looking to date (in light of the verse we shared).

What does this mean? It means that some of the best matchmakers you have access to in church aren’t going to start trying to introduce you to people unless you let them know you’re single and looking!

You don’t have to shout if from the rooftops, but make it clearly known that you are single, looking, and open to introductions if they happen to know someone.

Step 4 – Join the singles ministry (if it exists).

There are some ways to meet someone to date at Church that might fall on the “no-brainer” list that you already thought of, but we want to include them anyways. One of these? Join the singles ministry.

Now, many churches don’t have a singles ministry, which is a bit of a bummer. This is why dating app solutions like Higher Bond tend to be a great option worth considering. They can function as a singles ministry that operates throughout the entire Church body and not just your sole local church, especially with their daily devotionals and helpful guides (like this one) designed for singles.

That all said, if your church or a neighboring church has a singles ministry, get involved! You never know who might show up week to week that could be a perfect match for you.

Step 5 – Seriously, get involved (in more ways than one).

The tip “get involved” when it comes to how to meet someone to date at church can feel like an eye roll type of answer. Of course getting more involved will help you meet more people.

But! We didn’t just share this one to check the box. We wanted to share that there are multiple ways to get involved that you may not have considered yet.

Here are those ways.

Get involved with the mingling between services.

We say this all the time in many of our Christian advice articles because it’s really that important. If you are rushing in and out of service every Sunday, you are not doing yourself any favors. Get there early, stay late, and hang out in the lobby.

Meet people. Grab a coffee. Make new friends. You never know what might lead into meeting someone special.

Get involved with serving at church.

Any new relationship you make at church is a great one for both the health of the congregation but also for you potentially meeting someone to date. Get involved in a serving capacity that helps you meet more people.

For example, being a greeter means you are going to meet so many people just by the nature of the work!

Get involved with volunteer and serve projects.

If your church offers special events or volunteer serve projects, get involved! Not only is this a great chance to do great things, it’s also a chance to start building new friendships and relationships.

A Final Thought – Trust in the Lord

To close, we want to say this. The Lord will work in the timeline that He knows is best. Period. Mic drop. You can certainly follow some of these steps to help in the process, but at the end of the day, trusting in the Lord through prayerful consideration (Phil 4:6-7) is the single greatest way to meet someone to date ‘at church’ or ‘from the Church.’