If you wanted an overarching “rule” that could guide you in the right way to treat people when dating, it would be “The Golden Rule” (as it’s commonly known) from Matthew 7. Do to others what you would have them do to you.
While this sounds so simple, it really is an incredibly wise guiding principle when it comes to being single and dating. Today, we want to challenge some of the simplicity and give you two practical examples of how you can employ this in your search for love.
“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” – Matthew 7:12
So, how do you employ this? Here are two examples.
Number one—respect that people are different and may have different views on secondary issues of the faith. We don’t believe that “everyone has their own truth”; we believe there is one truth. And while most Christians agree on the major primary issues, there are small secondary issues that there may be some differentiation on.
It’s the reason there are so many denominations that fall under the umbrella of Christianity. Are we saying that you need to change your views to match someone else’s? Are we saying you have to date someone who believes something important to you differently than you? Absolutely not on both accounts.
What we are saying, though, is you can be respectful of their differences. Would you want someone to chastise you for the way you believe things? Would you want someone to treat you like you’re ignorant because you have a different view? Of course not.
Again, we are not advocating that everyone’s “truth” is correct. We’re just pointing out the fact that not everyone has the same beliefs, and we can disagree with respect and love.
Number two—realize that everyone has value. We are all children of God. We all gain our value from our Father in Heaven. Again, this seems really simple. So—why are we bringing it up? We’re bringing it up because it’s easy to think about treating people with respect and love when we’re interested in them. But sometimes we can find ourselves quickly dismissing those we’re not interested in and treating them in ways we wouldn’t want to be treated ourselves.
No, we’re not saying that you have to carry on full conversations with people you’re not interested in. No, we’re not saying that you have to date people you’re not interested in. However, it may be nice to let them know you’re not interested in a polite but direct manner. Don’t lead them on or leave them hanging. Ask yourself—would I want to know someone wasn’t interested or just be left in the proverbial dark?
📝 Here’s Some Reflection Questions:
- Have there been times that I treated someone interested in me or a romantic partner differently than I would have liked to be treated?
- Have there been times when someone treated me in a way that I didn’t like? What can I learn from those experiences?
- How do I plan to approach differences in beliefs when dating? What beliefs are deal breakers for me?
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