We all go into the life of being single and dating with the best of intentions. Generally, we have a pretty good idea of what we’re looking for, and we have buckets full of optimism. But sometimes, the world of dating is not all rainbows and gumdrops like we’d hope that it is. Sometimes the search for love takes longer than we want, produces lower quality results than we want, and is just…well…draining.
If we’re not ready for these feelings, it can lead to one of two reactions—we shut down and walk away from dating for a while, or we decide that our standards are too high and it’s time to settle for less.
Today, we want to address the idea of settling from a Godly perspective and how it applies to dating.
“Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.” – Proverbs 21:19
The Book of Proverbs is filled with scripture talking about how it would be better to be alone than to be with someone who is not on the same page as you. If you’re struggling with settling, we’d encourage you to spend some time going through Proverbs as you’ll find a boatload of wisdom just waiting for you.
Now, if it’s alright with you, we’d like to get real practical with the idea of settling for someone less than what you were originally looking for.
The first thing you want to do when these thoughts come across your mind is look at your criteria for a match. If you’re getting stuck on things like tall, dark, and handsome, we would not encourage you to settle, but we’d encourage you to reevaluate how important these fading traits are in a mate. And to be clear, we’re not even suggesting that you abandon these types of wants, just make sure they’re not dominating the landscape where you’re missing out on great matches to meet an unrealistic checklist.
If you’re having trouble finding someone who matches your morals, values, and faith-views, though, under no circumstances should you ever consider settling for less on that. Period. These are the temptations that you have to resist, especially when tall, dark, and handsome comes waltzing your way but doesn’t line up with your more important traits.
Lastly, the thought of settling can be accompanied by a downgrade in your feelings of your own worth. You may feel like the reason you haven’t found anyone is because there must be something wrong with you. Please, for the love of everything, work hard to avoid these false thoughts. They are not true.
Just because it’s taking you longer to find someone than other people doesn’t mean there is anything less desirable about you. It just means that God’s plan for your life is different. Remember, we are all made in the image of God and are His children. That should help reenergize you to know just how special you are!
Pray for patience, strength, and understanding. Settling sends the message that you don’t really have full faith in God’s plans and His ability to deliver. We aren’t saying that to call anyone out; we just want to share the truth.
📝 Here’s Some Reflection Questions:
- Are you feeling temptations to settle? What is causing you to feel this way?
- If you are feeling like settling, is it having an effect on how you view yourself?
- What strategies can you put in place to prevent yourself from settling when the temptation arises?
Are you a single Christian looking to meet someone special? You can sign up for the Higher Bond App for free now! Click here to learn more or download the app below:
